Subterfuge - The Art of Militaria Collecting

IYKYK.....

All those with an interest in collecting Militaria will be familiar with the need to negotiate the perils of acquiring and storing their cherished pieces whilst concurrently maintaining marital harmony. They'll be all too familiar with some refrains like: "When will I get my bloody room back?!" or "I can't stand the smell of mothballs and gun oil!" (weird, how could anyone not!) or "Get rid of it!" or even "I can't get into the garage any more!".

This has led to generations of Militaria collectors curating some very well thought through 'explanations' and 'alternate truths/facts' in order to smooth over troubled waters. We thought we might share some of our favourites with you in the hope that they come in useful for you over time. Please share any of your own favourites in the comments section.

1. THE NEW SPRINKLER SYSTEM FOR THE GARDEN

One of our favourites after we had won a replica Mortar Tube at a raffle at a Militaria fair. The 1.5hr journey back in the car was spent discussing various options to explain why we didn't even bother looking to see what the 1st prize was. After what seemed like an age we agreed that we would describe our winnings as a new, state of the art, advanced sprinkler/irrigation system for the garden. Pretty good huh? Wrong, we were rumbled after a few hours back at home but it was a good try.

2. THE NEW BIRD SCARING MACHINE

Ok, so not strictly speaking Militaria but I did try and get this past the boss by explaining that the below was an absolute necessity in the garden to keep pigeons and crows away so as to promote a healthy ecosystem around us. My entreaties were met with a stony silence and a definitive 'No!'. So much for compromise!

3. A NEW MAKEUP HOLDER/ORGANISER

I'll let you guess how far I got with this one. Blimmin ungrateful is all I will say!

4. LUFTWAFFE CHIC

A valiant effort with this one. No matter how many times we mentioned Fendi, Cartier, Kate Spade or Coach, we just couldn't this across the line. Its possible that it was the water marks, slight whiff of gun oil and somewhat tarnished appearance that got us rumbled.

So, we live to fight another day and it's a never ending process of scheming up devious excuses but the Officer in Charge of Home Affairs has definitely got the measure of us........so far!

Please do leave a comment to highlight some of your wins and failures over the years! I don't think I've revealed too many trade secrets.

(With thanks and heartfelt love to my long-suffering wife!)